The Caterpillar Soup of Our Transitions
So what exactly is going on inside that cocoon? I used to have this image in my mind of a beautiful transformation process where the caterpillar grows and stretches as it is nourished into a new, beautiful Self that emerges as … the butterfly.
Quite the contrary. I was surprised to learn that the caterpillar completely dissolves into a sort of basic DNA soup that then congeals back together into an entirely new form.
That made me love it even more.
How appropriate is it that the caterpillar must completely dissolve and lose all that it was in order to come back together as something more beautiful, more expansive? It makes me think of how similar we are. How our life transitions are like the caterpillar soup that, if we let it, allows us to become a better version of ourSelf than we previously were.
We try so hard to ‘hold it together’ when shit actually wants to fall apart. What are we trying to hold together? What would happen if we just let it fall apart – if we just allowed ourSelf to dismantle and go to pieces… or soup? Would we die? I don’t think so.
The caterpillar doesn’t resist.
It even builds its own coccoon to experience its caterpillar death! It is just wired to understand what needs to happen for it to arrive at the next stage. It willingly accepts that becoming DNA soup is the next part of the process and so it does that. End of story.
Why are we so afraid to fall apart, to turn to soup, to completely melt? We have a unique ability to fear the loss of something that we think matters. But what if in losing that something – a person, our home, control, that job, our MO, status – we stand to gain so much more once all the pieces come back into place?
How about beach balls….
Did you ever play in the pool as a child and try to hold multiple beach balls underwater? Each limb and body part is configured in a way to perfectly hold the balls in place underwater. Then we make the slightest move or we laugh at the ridiculousness of what we are trying to do and they all fly up out control, bursting through the surface of the water.
In our lives, it’s like the beach balls are our beliefs, patterns, and ways of being that we try so hard to contain for some reason. And we often don’t even know why. It’s become comfortable. What if we just cut them all loose so they could fly into space and be set free to land where they may?
We may not understand in the moment what has changed, but we do know that something within us has shifted because we are not seeing things the way we previously did. What once made sense, no longer does; What was true, no longer is; What felt right, no longer does. And yet, we hold on for dear life to what we have previously known, even if it was uncomfortable.
In order to find out who we are to become, we must be willing to let go of who we have been. For things to come together in a new way, we must be willing to let what was, fall to pieces. Choosing to engage with this process of dismantling in order to come back together is a powerful act of surrender to the wisdom of our own higher Self.
If you let it all fall apart, is it possible that something would catch you?
Image by GLady from Pixabay