Shift Your Negative Self-Talk
A few weeks ago I was working with my coach through some limiting beliefs I was carrying around with me, about me.
I wasn’t quite ready to make the full shift to a positive reframe. Without disclosing the personal specifics of what that belief was, I can tell you it really needed to shift — and fast.
What I was able to do was be willing to believe that [the new belief] could be true for me. When I unable to shift fully from the I’m not [whatever enough] belief to the complete opposite I am [insert good things here] belief, I am always able to start with being willing to shift.
How about you? If you cannot shift completely over to a new helpful reframe on the negative belief you hold, can you be willing to consider that you might be able to begin moving the dial?
When was the last time you stopped to listen to your inner Self-talk? I mean– really took full notice of everything that is being said by you, to you, in your crazy little hamster wheel mind… (it’s okay, we all have crazy little hamster wheel minds, no matter how well-practiced one is).
More on the hamster wheel…
Stories we choose to believe are constantly running in the background — who you are/aren’t, what you can/can’t do, if you are enough/or not, and the list goes on. This is freaking exhausting when you finally get clear enough to listen to all that is going on in the background! It runs like a tireless hamster on a wheel…
We are worst to ourselves than the meanest drill Sargeant Hollywood could ever have created. It’s true: We tend to be mean far more often than we tend towards nice to ourselves.
Is it really that bad?
The patterns we repeat, the ways we don’t improve, how we stay stuck — is all in direct proportion to the shitty stories we continually repeat and tell ourselves in the background.
Yes, it really is that bad. But how to stop it?
The Truth About Thoughts
Thoughts aren’t real things. They are not us, we are not them. We often think we are our thoughts, but we are not. They are quite literally – nothing.
Thoughts come and go as they please with absolutely no rules, boundaries, or reasons. They appear and disappear as they like when left to run wild.
Thoughts create feelings.
Photo by Radu Florin on Unsplash
The feelings you feel are a direct indicator of your thoughts. Try this little experiment.
Notice when you are feeling bad. Check in to the quality of your thoughts. Are they mostly crappy thoughts? Most likely, they are.
Notice when you are feeling particularly good. Check in again with the quality of your thoughts. Good, nice thoughts? I would bet so.
SO. If your thoughts aren’t real, but they do create your feelings, why not choose the thoughts that support the feelings you most want to have?
What if I can’t believe the thoughts I am trying to create?
Then create the thoughts you can believe in, which begin to move the dial in the direction you are wanting to go with your thoughts and beliefs.
As an example, let’s say you hate your body. It’s going to be pretty hard to take a direct u-turn into I love and accept my body perfectly as it is!! That may be where you want to land, but not likely where you will go directly from hating your body.
So you might start with I have a body. And you might think it, speak it aloud, and write it many times in a day. Within a short period of time, you might move to I have a body that does nice things for me. Make sure to set aside time to notice all those things, speak of them, write of them, etc.
Can you guess the next step? I have a body that I appreciate because it does a lot of nice things for me. Again, you want to take the time to acknowledge all those things.
Then it might be I am willing to consider that I am starting to like my body. And so on from there… Do you see how this shifts and builds on itself?
Eventually, you can direct yourself to I love and accept my body fully as it is!! Or wherever it is that you want to get to with your beliefs.
Feeling is the trick
Here’s the trick to the belief: you must be able to believe the words so that you can feel into it. This is why you often have to go slow, one small step at a time, shifting the dial towards the beliefs you want to have.
Feeling is a necessity. Your mind is a dumb tool. It really is. Your mind does not know the difference between a thought that you can feel about an experience, and actually having the experience. It responds to both the same.
To create the brain response you want, you just have to trick your elementary mind into believing that that thing is really happening. You do that by feeling it.
Humans are the only creatures that can have a full sexual experience alone without even touching themselves because of this. This also why visualization is such a powerful tool for the world’s greatest athletes. What is created in the mind as real, becomes real in the physical world.
If you can think it and feel it, it is real.
Begin shifting your beliefs right now!
Find within you a self-limiting belief that you want to change. Pick one that if you could have it be the opposite, life would just be so good!!
Let’s say you pick I want to think I am pretty, and let’s say right now, the belief is I am ugly.
You’re not going to shift all the way to the 180-degree turnaround, but what might be totally believable? **And here’s the thing: You cannot use negatives in the language because the subconscious mind does not register them correctly.
Let’s say a believable upgrade in thought is I have a nicely shaped face.
You are going to say this to yourself in the morning upon waking, any time you think to during the day, and again at night before bed. Honestly, as often as you can look in the mirror and say this to yourself, do it. Even write it down multiple times.
Focus on really feeling it! You will know when you have shifted the belief and are ready for the next belief upgrade toward the ultimate belief you want to have.
Repeat until you get to where you want to be!
I hope you find this exercise helpful! Drop me a line an let me know how this goes for you, or if you get stuck at some point and need a little help. I am always happy to help out my readers and listeners!
Until next week, Brandy xx
I work with women who feel alone, confused, and misunderstood after a significant change or loss in their life. I help them get clear on what matters most and gain the confidence to move forward with a plan so their life feels normal again.
I love, love, love to help people come into a relationship with their inner guidance for making life decisions. If you would like to talk with me about working together to help move you forward, you may reach out to me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I would love to hear from you!