How to Get ‘Unstuck’ – Separate ‘Why’ from ‘How’ (Part 2/4
Understand the distinction between your ‘why’ and the ‘how’, and why it matters to hold them separately when making a decision.
Last week, someone I was working with said to me, ‘When my brain follows my gut, it’s good. I have tried to make my gut follow my brain before, and it sucks.’
I could SO totally relate to this. And in that moment, hearing it that way, something deeper clicked in for me. I got it – at a deeper level of understanding than I previously had.
Just a short time later, in my own session with a coach, I was going over a decision that is coming in my near future. He said to me, ‘It sounds like your gut already knows the decision. Sounds like it’s already been made. I am hearing that you are going to [do this thing], is that right?’
That was when the words I heard earlier clicked into use. God, I do love when that magic happens…
I could see in my mind’s eye that my gut was moving forward and there was a cord connecting it to my brain, pulling my brain behind to follow. The image was so clear.
I said, ‘Yes, I think you’re right, and I just had a MAJOR Aha!’
What I realized at a deeper level in that moment
I was walking through my decision-making process once again, to determine if I was making the best decision for me. Without realizing, I was combining the decision itself with the ‘how’ it would work, and it really wasn’t moving me forward. My head, with the ‘how’ drama, kept talking me out of it.
What I understood in that moment is that what my gut ‘knows’ and what my brain ‘thinks about’ are not related and cannot be tied together when making a decision.
The decision needs to come from the gut alone. The ‘how’ this will work has no bearing, and no business being part of a decision making process. The ‘how’ has to come after.
If I include concerns about ‘how’ in my decision to do or not do something, I stand the chance of making a decision that is aligned to my current circumstances, rather than to me and my purpose.
Circumstances can and do change in an instant and even with a shift in perception alone.
The job of the gut (or heart, intuition, higher wisdom – however you understand it) is to make the decision. The job of the brain is to figure out the details, the ‘how’ we make it work.
How and why this works
The reason your ‘why’ must be separated from the ‘how’ is because your ‘why’ comes from your intuitive (or higher) Self and may even be about your life purpose.
The ‘how’ is a brain project, for which clarity can only come after we actually know what we have decided to do. And – the ‘how’ also begins to show itself once we start moving with intention.
The Universe (God, or whatever you believe in!) cannot act on our behalf until we declare what we are doing. Otherwise, there are multiple possibilities that exist – maybe two, or four, or even more. How in the hell can anyone or anything support us on our path if we have not chosen a direction?
What doors can the Universe open when there are so many paths we could go down? The next right opportunities cannot be presented until you decide which path you are taking, and that you are open to accepting Divine help or guidance. Truth.
What we tend to do
You have a decision to make. There are two or more – or many more – possibilities. You are thinking… thinking…. thinking your way through this decision. Thinking of all the outcomes, potential disasters, gains or loses – painting every picture you can imagine.
What you are doing is creating stories. That’s it. You are accomplishing nothing. This is a complete waste of time. You are spinning thoughts in your mind on no solid ground.
Here’s the deal: You cannot accurately imagine what will be. You can feel into your right answer and know with deep certainty – despite not knowing the full outcome – what your decision will be. And that will be known to you only when you allow the noise that keeps you disconnected from your truth to drop away so you can listen to your inner voice for clarity. (Check out last week’s blog.)
Now, how to shift that
We have to turn away the ‘how’ for the decision-making part of the process. Once the decision has been made, we can bring it back. But we must first suspend it from having any bearing whatsoever until the decision has been made.
We cannot make an accurate decision when we have the interference of all the ‘how’ potentials lingering above us.
We have to know where our intuitive voice is found within us and how we hear or feel it. Then we drop into that space and listen (or feel or however you understand it) for the right answer. When you have it, you will know it without a doubt.
If we allow the ‘how’ concerns to surface around the intuitive process, we muddy those waters. Brain and intuition do not mix. They are separate and must be kept separate.
The brain is magnificent and has its place – a tremendous value – in the next phase. Once the decision is made, then the brain can go to work to figure out how we make this thing happen.
Trust, trust, trust.
If you long to live a life that is true to you and your life purpose, you must follow your call. In order to follow your call, you must listen (see, know, feel) for what that is. Then, you must decide to follow it, and finally, how you will do this.
The reason this works is trust. Yep, trust. Trust that you have a purpose. Trust that something greater than you has your back and wants you to live out that purpose. Theoretically if this is true, all you would have to do is follow the truth of your purpose, and all should fall into place, right?
Yeah, that’s the basic idea and that is what I am sharing with you here. It’s not without bumps, fails, and I will never say it’s easy. But it all shows up – exactly what you need, when you need it.
Something energetic happens when you make a decision
When you make a decision – and especially one that is not clouded by external forces and is completely aligned to you and your purpose – the Universe conspires to assist your efforts. An energetic doorway is opened.
You make a decision – essentially, you declare the direction you are going to take – and the Universe now knows which doors to open for you.
‘Oh, okay, you’re going this way. Very good! Now I know which doors I can open for you. May I?’
That should be a great, big, fat, ‘HELL YES!! And thank you, Sir!’
When you don’t make a decision, there are too many possible paths of doorways to open, and the Universe has no idea where to begin. This is a stalemate.
Once your intention becomes focused energy, the ‘how’ can become focused too.
The power of asking for assistance
The quickest way to get the support you need from the Universe is to ask for it. Sometimes it starts with asking for help with your beliefs about the [thing] or help with receiving. Here is an example or two of what this might look like:
‘So here I am working on this [thing] and I am having a really hard time believing that this is going to work. Universe, [God, Archangels, Spirit Guides – whomever you call upon!) can you help me shift my perception to match what it is I am trying to create?’
‘I am working hard to receive what is coming available to me. [Whomever you call upon], can you help me to see what is coming and receive it with ease and grace?’
‘Universe, I am open and willing to receive your guidance. Thank you.’
You can ask for more substantial assistance if that is where you are at too. It may be that you need the right people or physical location, or perhaps a situational opportunity. Whatever it may be, you can ask for it and expect that what you need will show up.
You also must be willing to accept that what comes may look different than what you expected would come. Sometimes there are lessons we must learn, passages to cross, and challenges to overcome before we are ready to move on to our next level.
Trust that what is coming to you is perfectly what you need.
Some simple steps to follow
Determine if it matters that the decision you are about to make aligns with you, your needs, or your purpose. (If it is a minor decision, this may not be of great importance.)
Take the decision aside, on it’s own, without the ‘how’ part of it. Just set that aside for now.
Go deep within to where your inner guidance lives, and feel (or know or listen) into what that answer is for you. Not for or because of the people or circumstances around you, but for you.
When you settle into that space and know your answer, go ahead and come back.
Declare your answer aloud. Notice what comes up when you do….
Notice what has shifted. Be with your decision for at least 24 hours before moving on to the ‘how’ you will bring this decision into a reality.
Until next week, Brandy xx
I work with women who feel alone, confused, and misunderstood after a significant change or loss in their life. I help them get clear on what matters most and gain the confidence to move forward with a plan so their life feels normal again.
I love, love, love to help people come into a relationship with their inner guidance for making life decisions. If you would like to talk with me about working together to help move you forward, you may reach out to me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I would love to hear from you!