How to Get ‘Unstuck’ – Connect to Intuition (Part 1/4 July series)
Understand what causes you to feel stuck and know the first connection you need to make to begin to change that feeling.
I feel ‘stuck.’ A phrase that just kinda hits the bumper and dead stops. Where else is there to go from I feel ‘stuck.’ ? I think we all can all relate to this though. I certainly know that I have had my share of feeling ‘stucks.’
Over the next four weeks, I am going to share tools and practices that will help you get moving forward and out of ‘stuckness.’ They may not all work, but certainly at least one of them will hit home for you. I am dedicating the month of July to helping you get ‘unstuck’ and on with your amazing life that is your birthright.
No matter where you are on your life journey, it never really feels good to realize that you feel stuck. (Notice I say feel…) But when you have the tools and evidence that you can move through it to the other side of stuck, it feels less bad. In fact, it may even feel like a ‘curious game’ you can play with yourself to see what happens when you _____ (fill in the blank).
How would that be to have it feel less like doom and more like a curious moment in your life? I can help you do that.
Life changes that can make us feel stuck
Pretty much any change could surface onto this list. Anything that disrupts something familiar that our identity is connected to, can result in feeling stuck. In fact, the identity upset piece of this is most often at the core of the stuck feeling.
Some part of us identifies with a particular aspect of a predictable or patterned part of our life, and when it shifts/ changes/ ends/ blows up, we kind of get ‘scattered’ too, if you will.
Some of these changes might be and are certainly not limited to:
Birth of new child
Family starts to ‘grow up’
Sudden diagnosis/ illness
Loss of any kind
What is the stuck feeling?
I believe that the stuck feeling is a result of taking a whack or upset to our personal identity. Loss or upset of our identity creates a wild mish-mash of emotions and feelings that leave us feeling very disconnected and ungrounded. And we often don’t even know that is what has happened.
We are often quite resistant to admitting identity upset. There’s an unspoken social stigma that makes us believe it’s something to be ashamed of. The reality is, we go through a loss or upset of identity many times in our lives, and it’s not always a bad thing.
We may feel the need to hide when we experience identity upset. This is a form of self-shaming. We do this because we believe ‘the thing’ shouldn’t have happened to us or that we should have all the answers right away. Everyone goes through this at some point or another in their life.
It’s actually easier to navigate when you recognize and freely admit with yourself that there’s an identity loss going on here. I assure you, there is nothing to hide or feel ashamed of at all.
I can also assure you that loss or upset of identity in one area of your life does not necessarily mean you are experiencing a complete, total loss of identity. So please, be kind to yourself. It really is okay.
Loss of identity can feel really scary. It’s like, ‘Who Am I?’ And that feels all kinds of scary to sense that you’ve lost connection with who you are. There’s also a social stigma connected with feeling ‘lost’ – that being unsure somehow makes weak or unstable. So many people are unsure of a lot of things – it is most definitely not a sign of instability or weakness.
Loss of identity can feel unsettling. It can feel like the boundaries that helped you understand your purpose and how that fit into some part of your life, have all been dropped. And now there’s all this wide open space that can actually feel very daunting because there’s no clear definition. You know there is some next place that you fit, but you don’t know what or where that is, much less how to get there.
The feeling of isolation
Loss of identity can feel isolating. Everyone else is going on about their life with all their ducks in a row. When we are in this space, we seem to be hypersensitive to noticing that everyone else seems to have it all together.
Witnessing that can leave us feeling very alone. We feel isolated because it seems like we are the only ones that don’t know. And we may even pretend that we do, just to avoid the discomfort of disappointing those around us. The expectation feels like we should know.
No one understands
Loss of identity can feel like no one else understands a thing we are going through! “How could she be so tied to _____? It’s not like this was a surprise…didn’t she plan for this? Why doesn’t she just go _____? She just needs to _____. She should_____.”
You get it. You can fill in the blanks.
All these judgments and shoulds and oughts make us feel outcast to the extreme. We question ourselves and if know how to run our own lives. Like we’re missing some element of self-knowing that should enable us to instantly have all the answers.
But we don’t! And ‘they’ don’t fucking understand that very well, do they?
This. Shit. Takes. Time. Period. When people don’t give it that, they miss out on the life lesson.
Loss of identity can feel confusing as all hell! There are all these voices in the head saying Do this, Don’t do this, If you don’t do this you’ll ______ (fill in the blank). It is super easy to lose confidence in knowing what is your next right step.
It feels like you’ve lost touch with your inner knowing. And you haven’t! It’s just more quiet and still than all the mental racket that is fear trying to keep you safe.
How would you love to get back in touch with that still, small inner voice – the one that really truly knows exactly what you need to do, better than anyone else ever could?
Your gift is your intuition
Yes. Your intuition or your inner wisdom is your God-given gift to navigate this life. Your intuition and your wisdom are unique to you and unlike anyone else’s. People can offer what they have found is true for them, but at the end of the day, you will have to figure out what works for you. How your inner magic speaks in your mind and in your heart will be specifically yours to discover and nurture.
When you have clear, unobstructed access to your inner wisdom, you are connected to your inner knowing. The part of you that knows exactly what is next and right for you. It also knows when to take action, as well as when to step back and wait or allow.
This does not mean that there will not be fear alongside for the ride. Fear will always be present when you choose to level up some area of your life.
Connecting with the small, still, inner voice that knows
There are so many ways to connect with your intuition. I am going to offer a few simple tips to help get you going.
And perhaps you already know how to hear for your intuition, but you are just not listening to it. Your practice then is to allow it to surface more and begin listening to what it is communicating to you.
For most people, intuition resides in their gut or heart, or a combination of both. For me, it is first in my gut and then my heart confirms. Sometimes it goes straight to the heart confirmation if the gut check was natural and unnoticed.
You can start by getting quiet, still, and dropping into the gut space with your question. You will have to figure out exactly where that is for you. My space is actually down just beneath my belly button. This is the space I drop into and ‘feel’ for the yes or no. Or perhaps I am asking what I really want. It is within this space that the answer will come.
What do I mean when I say ‘drop into?’ I mean allowing my consciousness to move down into that space to listen for the answer there. Out of my head and into my belly is where I need to go for an intuitive answer. I put my attention there and feel for what is coming up in that space.
Journaling for the answers
Journaling is magic, and I talk about this all the time. You can also journal for your intuitive answers. I always recommend a prompt to help get you going. In this case it might be something like: What is most helpful for me to know today is… Right now, what I really think and feel is… What I know for certain is… Without a doubt, I know that…
You get the idea. Ask yourself the question that you would ask someone else to help them come to the answer you are looking for. Just allow yourself to write and write and let it all to come out. And if a second question should naturally arise to help you go deeper, go ahead and ask it to yourself.
Using a book
A really terrific way to get in touch with your intuition is to grab your favorite book, ask a question, and then open to a page and see what message is there for you. It may seem obvious to state that you want to choose a book appropriate to what you are asking about. I will not choose a health book for a business related question. But a self-help or spiritual book may be just as good as a business book in that case.
If you like oracle cards, you can do the same practice with them. Just do simple single card readings throughout the day. Ask a question, pull a card and see what comes up for you in the first 2-5 seconds glance. Don’t spend any more time than that on it. See what the quick first thing you get is.
Spending more time in your inner world
There are so many ways to get in touch with your intuition. I have named only three simple practices of thousands out there. Spend some time learning others if one of these don’t work for you. You can google search and find a plethora of resources. And even then, expand your resources with more practices.
The main thing is to get back in touch with your inner world of ‘knowing’ which is not the same as listening to the distracting brain chatter that keeps you running in circles.
When you hit on the space of knowing, there is a calm about it. There is no doubt, no chatter, no confusion. Fear may still be present, but you know that you are called to move forward despite it.
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Until next week, Brandy xx
I would love to hear from you! If you have questions about how I work with women just like you, you can reach out to me directly through my contact page or right here, firstname.lastname@example.org